Disappointment

Hello there, dear friend. I thought you had left for a while. I realized you were gone after I started to feel confident in those around me. When I found myself able to trust again. But no, you came back. You came back after all of this time. One word can set you back, that one word is disappointment.

Whether the word or action causes you to fall, you still fall, and it still hurts. And it is a pain you cannot explain… no matter how hard you try. It feels like the moment you drop and break your favorite plate. When the person who used to love you no longer does. When you plan out how a date will go in your head, for them to never show up and cancel. When you finally tell them how you feel… just to be told that they never saw you “like that”.

After that word, that action, keeps throwing you down and down and down, you start to prepair yourself. You no longer tell people how you truely feel out of fear of that word. You stop making plans because of that word. You start walking on eggshells and eventually stop walking all together,

Oh what a vicious cycle.

But this time, I am glad you are here disappointment. I am glad you are in my life. Because for every “no” I recieve, five more opportunities turn into “yes”. You can close all the doors you want, but I can bust down walls and make my own door.

 

Wait… We Don’t Have A Minority Scholarship?

That moment when you are filling out numerous amounts of scholarship applications for college when it hits you. If I represent such a small portion of the population, is there a minority scholarship? Quickly I raced to my laptop and googled Idaho minority scholarships.

But my hope was short lived.

Idaho DOES NOT have a minority scholarship. Why???
And this is the moment when someone says that it is not fair for a person to get a scholarship for being a minority. But the fact is it is fair.

I have learned that due to the color of my skin, I was born with a disadvantage. I had teachers that refused to help me learn not matter how hard I would try and try to receive help to understand concepts. I had teachers that called me lower class because I am black. And years of my family being considered lower class has made financial struggles for me and other minorities.

These scholarships send first family graduates to college. These scholarships give us the opportunity to leave our harsh environments, give us the chance to pursue a dream of being equal and have equal opportunities.

There are scholarships for everyone, every religion, state, hobby, interest, personality, career field. Everyone can find a scholarship and there are so many different types… but why are there not more minority scholarships?

Keep in mind minority is not just a skin color, or nationality. Minority is defined as, the smaller number or part, especially a number that is less than half the whole number.

Between The World And Me

 

“But you are a black boy, and you must be responsible for your body” (pg.71) because someone might take it from you.

 

The essential question that surrounds Ta-Nehisi’s book Between the World and Me, asks readers is, what does it mean to lose your body.

 

I believe that this book should be on every coffee table of small colored children and even non-colored children. This will be a required reading for my children and their children and even their children for this book gave me hope and lit a fire I did not even know I could have.

 

For those of colored decent, this book shows a father telling his son that he must be responsible for his body, because society and words of hate can take it from you. The father’s words transcend history of current and past drawing parallels between events. It lights a fire of change and the determination to fight and not just be a number, but to me more than just a dream a person had, but to act and turn a dream into policy.

 

For those who don’t think they can relate to the book… you can. You may not have personal experiences like those of the father, but you can still read and learn a new perspective. People must be willing to look at both sides of the story before they hold onto their beliefs with passion. Almost everyone will be a parent or sibling, aunt, uncle, and everyone tries to protect their children and family. Protecting children and family can be difficult and everyone ask themselves questions and must explain situations they wish they never had to do. That is how we can relate to this text.

 

This book shows that there is not one true solution to anything. It educates readers on the responsibility that everyone holds in modern America, and situations in the past that led us to what we are today, and the possibility that we can change.

 

Hi There!! And Welcome!!!

The title for this blog is what I have represented for the past sixteen years of my life. In Idaho, one little statistic marks who I am. I belong to point eight percent (according to the 2016 census) of the population. There is so little African Americans to the point where we are not even a whole percent. Thus, the title of the blog, because my existence can be boiled down to just a number from the census bureau. But I am here to prove that you are more than just a statistic, you are capable of so much more. Here on this blog you can follow me through my path of adulthood, being a woman and a minority in a state where I am not a whole percent, and as I navigate college life.

The greats before me walked so I could have this opportunity, so I intend to not just walk, but to run and never stop running.

-Lee