Disappointment

Hello there, dear friend. I thought you had left for a while. I realized you were gone after I started to feel confident in those around me. When I found myself able to trust again. But no, you came back. You came back after all of this time. One word can set you back, that one word is disappointment.

Whether the word or action causes you to fall, you still fall, and it still hurts. And it is a pain you cannot explain… no matter how hard you try. It feels like the moment you drop and break your favorite plate. When the person who used to love you no longer does. When you plan out how a date will go in your head, for them to never show up and cancel. When you finally tell them how you feel… just to be told that they never saw you “like that”.

After that word, that action, keeps throwing you down and down and down, you start to prepair yourself. You no longer tell people how you truely feel out of fear of that word. You stop making plans because of that word. You start walking on eggshells and eventually stop walking all together,

Oh what a vicious cycle.

But this time, I am glad you are here disappointment. I am glad you are in my life. Because for every “no” I recieve, five more opportunities turn into “yes”. You can close all the doors you want, but I can bust down walls and make my own door.